


a moment to breathe

by gh0stly



Category: Buzzfeed Unsolved (Web Series)
Genre: Comfort, Demon Shane Madej, I live for heartfelt chats during roadtrips, M/M, Road Trips, Soft feelings, Warm and Fuzzy Feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-01
Updated: 2018-09-01
Packaged: 2019-07-05 06:20:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,776
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15857976
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gh0stly/pseuds/gh0stly
Summary: Ryan is forced to do the unthinkable: take some time to relax. Shane finally opens up about something that's been eating at him for a long time.





	a moment to breathe

**Author's Note:**

> A very small, self-indulgent, light-hearted oneshot to accompany my last fic. You don't need to read it to understand this, but it helps with the context.  
> Thanks so much to my friend Nails for editing and encouraging me to finish and post this :)

 

Shane turned the radio up as Ryan slammed the car door behind him and made his way into the gas station shop. He watched as Ryan fumbled around in his jacket pocket for his phone and disappeared through the doorway, the bright light spilling out across the ground before the door closed behind him.

Shane sighed and rubbed his temples. With a blink he let his true, black eyes return to him while there was no one around to look. He let them slip without thinking, sometimes. If he let himself relax. If he let himself forget.

He rested his head against the seat, absently watching the highway. A large truck trundled across the road, its two glaring headlights illuminating the car before it passed along, leaving him in the dark again. Shane could never forget what he was, really. But with Ryan he sometimes did. With Ryan he felt almost human, and it was troubling to say the fucking least.

“In too deep” was an understatement. He’d been in too deep when he first agreed to do ‘Unsolved’. Three years and one trip to Hawthorn Road later and he was somewhere roughly at the bottom of the sea.

In the three months that passed since their little trip to Hawthorn road, Ryan had asked a _lot_ of questions. Shane only had one, and he feared the answer.

Was it so hard to say? Apparently, it was. Three months later, and he still hadn’t asked. He hadn’t asked because he probably knew the answer, and he’d like to live in ignorance of it for as long as possible.

Right. Sitting in the car alone with his thoughts right now was going to be unbearable. He reached into the glove box and pulled out his darkest pair of sunglasses, (he didn’t want to give the poor bastard who had to work at a gas station at 3am nightmares) and locked the car door behind him. He passed the parking lot and in to the light of the gas station, the question biting at his heels the whole way.

 

*

 

The skies were grey in the early morning haze. The only sounds were the steady hum of the engine, the fat droplets of autumn rain pattering against the windshield, and Ryan’s soft breathing in the passenger seat. Shane’s fingers hovered over the radio’s dial for a moment, then turned it on, compelled to fill the quiet with _something_. He downed the last of his coffee and tossed the empty cup in the back. He flicked on the window wipers.

It wasn’t the longest trip to a location they’d gone on together, but they still decided to take turns driving; meaning Shane allowed Ryan to drive an hour to the first pit stop, then practically had to wrestle the wheel away from him and force him to catch up on about two weeks worth of missed sleep.

‘I’m not super tired,’ he’d insisted as they walked back to the car, ‘Just need some caffeine and I’ll be good to drive.’

Evidently the coffee hadn’t worked too well in keeping him awake, because when Shane glanced over he was almost dead asleep. Around six paper sugar packets littered the floor, the empty cup in his hands held loose between his fingers. It was a good thing after all that Shane insisted on taking the wheel. He’d seen the _‘but I’m not tired!_ ’ bullshit from his little cousins more times than enough, only to watch them crash about ten minutes later without fail.

‘You sleep about five hours every night,’ Shane had said, ‘ _I’m_ gonna drive the rest of the way, for my own peace of mind at least. You should just try and relax for once.’

‘But I _can’t ._ Like, _ever_.’ Ryan said. He had meant it in jest. Shane knew him well enough to see right through the bullshit.

“There’s too much to do.” Ryan continued, running hand through his coarse black hair, “There’s _always_ something I have to do.”

Ryan pulled his car keys from his jacket pocket. Shane’s mouth twisted.

“Well, how about this.” Shane said, “For the next eight hours, there’s no world outside of that car. There’s no projects to work on, or episodes to plan, or locations to research or shit to be done. Just turn off your stupid brain for a while.”

Ryan looked down at his hands, fiddling with the car keys, “But--”

“Just take a moment to breathe.” Shane insisted, holding out his hand,  “For once in your life.”

Ryan sighed. He handed over the keys.

 

*

By the time night fell Ryan had woken up, they’d stopped for food, and even though he insisted otherwise Shane took the wheel again. Only a few more hours to go, and the longer his friend had to rest the better.

They drove in comfortable silence for a while. They’d exhausted their music playlists about halfway through the journey, and just had the radio on. Shane looked outside at the empty highway, and the blackness of the night. There was no world outside of their car. He may not get another chance to just _talk._

“Ryan...” Shane said, eventually.

Ryan looked at him, and he froze up. He knew what he wanted to say.  It was a simple question. So why was it so fucking hard?

“Shane?” Ryan pressed, with a confused smile.

“It’s…” he paused, cleared his throat, and tried again, “You’ve asked me loads of questions since Hawthorn, right?”

Ryan’s amusement faded. The mention of ‘Hawthorn’ had become a codeword for ‘heads up, I’m about to bring up some demon shit’- and it sounded like whatever Shane was about to say, he had been sitting on for a long time. “What is it, dude?”

“I’ve just been wondering something…” Thank God Shane had his hands on the steering wheel, otherwise he’d probably be pulling his jacket to threads between his fingers. “It’s probably a stupid, obvious question. I probably know the answer, already, I mean I’ve seen how you’ve been on location with this sort of thing, and I guess--”

“Shane. Spit it out.”

“Tell me the truth,” Shane said, “Are you afraid of me?”

The question hung in the air between them. Only the sound of rain pattering on the windshield and the sound of the window wipers going back and forth, back and forth. Shane lowered the headlights as a car passed them by, and flicked them back up again.

Finally, Ryan spoke, and the break in the silence felt like shattering glass.

“Yes,” he said slowly, then quickly said, “No.”

Shane scoffed, wondering if the tension in his throat was audible or not, “Well, those are two very different answers, Ryan.”

“Shut up a sec, let me think.” Ryan answered. He bit the skin of his thumb and finally continued. “I guess some part of me is. Of _course_ some part of me is scared. But, no, I don’t think I’m _afraid_ of you.”

Shane didn’t say anything, eyes fixed on the road ahead, and Ryan eventually continued.

“When you look like _this_ ,” Ryan gestured to him, “like my friend, I can forget what you are. I can put it out of my head. You showed me your eyes, back then and… _That’s_ the shit that scares me. Not when you’re just _you_.

I’ve thought about this a lot, believe me. I think… I think If you really wanted to hurt me or something, you would’ve done it already. You’ve had every opportunity to hurt me, and you haven’t. Unless you’re playing some kind of long game for my soul or something, which I don’t think you are, either.”

“You sound pretty sure.”

“Well, shouldn’t I be?” Ryan asked.

Shane sighed, frustrated, “No, I mean- I’m a _demon_. Lying’s part of the job description. I’m meant to deceive, and manipulate, and torment innocent humans. I’m meant to tarnish untarnished souls. Why, knowing all that, would you trust me?”

“Well… Have you deceived, manipulated, or tormented any innocent humans?”

“Well, never _innocent_ ones, but--”

“Have you tarnished my untarnished soul?” he pressed, a smile in his voice.

“No, but still I--”

“Have you ever possessed me, even a little?”

Shane snorted, scratching his beard to hide the smile curling his lips. “Can’t say I have.”

“Well, then that’s some major shit off the list right there, isn’t it?”

God, he probably _had_ written a list out at some point. He spoke as if he were reading out loud from a checklist he had in his head. Whenever he needed to wrap his head around something, like a project or an episode, he’d write out pages and pages of notes. Shane could see him poring over a notebook late at night, writing out bullet points under the title _‘how likely is Shane to drag me down to hell?’._

“From _everything_ you’ve told me these past three months,” Ryan was saying, “it sounds like you’ve done nothing on earth but be the most irresponsible, chill-ass demon there is. You’ve gotta be about the worst demon ever.”

“I’ve done evil stuff,” he said lamely.

  
“Like what?”

“Well, okay, evil’s a strong word.”

“You’ve been one hell of a nuisance, I get it.”

“One _hell_ of a nuisance?”

Ryan burst into laughter, “God, shut up.”

Shane allowed himself to laugh, and the tension began to edge off his shoulders.

“You are, without a doubt, the chillest one there is,” Ryan repeated, “I don’t think I have anything to worry about. And if I do, I could just slip some holy water in to your coffee and run away while you vomit.”

Shane scoffed, allowing the smile to crack across his face for the first time, “A rock solid plan!”

“And you’re right, it isn’t as easy as I’m making it out to be. But, I do have one solid reason why I know you’d never hurt me.”

“And what is that?”

Ryan grinned, in that smug way of his, “You like me too damn much.”

Shane snorted, embarrassment flushing his face, “Right, yeah, okay-- You need sleep, clearly the insomnia has made you delirious.”

“It’s true, though,” Ryan said, slouching back in to the seat, “You’d be lost without me.”

“Shut up and sleep, Bergara.”

They stayed up and talked for a while, but Ryan's exhaustion soon got the better of him, and he fell back in to one more bout of a deep and restful sleep. The only sounds were the rain, the road and his friend's soft breathing. 

The demon was, without a doubt, in too deep.

He reached to the dashboard, and turned off the radio.

Good thing he was okay with that.

 

**Author's Note:**

> [Find me on tumblr!](https://panthermouth.tumblr.com/)


End file.
